Bad grammar in ad

Saw this ad on the MRT train some time back. I wonder what the copywriters are doing when they allow such a glaring mistake in an ad they help to produce.

"Solves hair problems quick & effectively"

The use of "quick" sounds like Singlish. Not that I'm against Singlish, which has its own syntax and structure, and is something that marks our people and gives us a common identity. (Hey you think any old ang moh can speak Singlish properly? It's not just lahs and lors hor.)

However, Singlish is unaccceptable usage in proper Singapore English and in written English, except perhaps as an ad for a Jack Neo movie.

So, to end this, the line should have been: Solves hair problems quickly & effectively.

When smart people say stupid things

It's a pity that a public figure makes a good speech, showing the proper humility, competence, determination and thoroughness, and proceeds to give a real silly answer (IMHO) to a legitimate question.

Scenario:
A arranges for Lady B and Guy C, both perfect strangers, to meet at the town square. They have not seen each other and are not able to obtain photos in time. In describing Guy C to Lady B, A takes an unduly long time.

A to B: I've arranged for you to meet Guy C at the town square at 10am.
B: How does C look like?
A: He's a guy.... Sorry I have to be very cautious about my description as I want to be very accurate. Won't do to have you meet the wrong guy! Give me a few days. I don't have the information clearly in my mind or on the records.

[Five days later]
A to B: He'll be wearing a yellow shirt and green pants.
A adds: Give me some more time. I want to be accurate.

[Another 14 days later]
A to B: I'm very sure now. He has a mole under his eye.
B: Thanks. Erm... what took you so long? Don't tell me you were interviewing C's minders and submitting them to polygraph tests to ensure that they weren't lying about the mole?

Singaporean reasons for being late

Saw an AsiaOne report today that gives 10 unusual excuses for being late at work. It gives reasons like getting lost in the fog, going for an American Idol audition, a too long queue at Starbucks, and having the car stolen by an ex-husband.

Anyway, here's what I imagine are the top 10 reasons for lateness in Singapore.

1. The ERP gantries. I took the long route to stop paying and paying.

2. I was stuck in a jam on the road due to a major accident.

3. There was too many people in the MRT train and I couldn't get into it/ The MRT train was delayed.

4. I overslept. My alarm clock didn't ring.

5. My maid ran away/ overslept.

6. The haze made me sick.

7. The queue was soooo long: First day of school/ buy Toto ticket for $2 million prize/ buy breakfast/ go bank/ pay income tax (use whichever excuse that makes more sense that month).

8. Football was very exciting last night. I couldn't wake up today.

9. I have a sore throat and headache.

10. My mum arrived at my house late and I couldn't leave the kids alone at home.

Love the Singapore way

The Hebrew word for love is "ahava", which means "to give". This implies true love is about giving, not taking.

So over the years, our generations have given their love the Singapore way.

Boyfriend, Tian Peng, in the late 1960s: Xiaolian, let's go apply for a flat together.
Xiaolian blushes and says coyly: Ok.
They ride into the HDB horizon together.

Boyfriend, Ah Peng, in the 1980s: Here's the car, condo, country club, cash and credit card. Or rather, the credit card first. Let's work towards the other Cs together.
Lianmei's eyes light up and she says: Yes, you can give me the 5 Cs.

Ah Beng in the 2000s presents a one carat diamond ring on his knees and says: I give you my caring heart, good stimulating conversation and crack many jokes to make you laugh. Will you marry me please?
Ah Lian: Can!

Corny scenarios aside, I see love giving itself around me in Singapore, even though the common complaint is that we are too materialistic and caught up in the rat race. My colleague shared in the car today that he gives his wife all his bonus money, pays for the big ticket items, and even gives her a monthly allowance, not to be spent on the family but on her.

Even though he was complaining that his wife has the better deal, I felt that his actions spoke louder than his words. Our salaries represent our blood, sweat and tears every work day. For him to give the bulk of it to his wife shows his commitment and love for her and the family.

It puts him in a vulnerable position, especially if his wife chooses to run away with the money, but I want to think that it won't happen to him.